Monday Morning Thoughts

Its been a while since I have been here….This morning its coffee and random thoughts about life. Last night, like many lately, was sleepless…or more over broken. I am not happy and I have a dog with a damn cone…thats always pleasant at 1 am. Pleasant enough to pull you from bed and then your mind starts whirling.

In the last few weeks a lot has happened. I am divorced…it became final the day before my daughters 19th birthday. Although we haven’t been together in over four years it changed my views on a lot of things and taught me some lessons as well.

• I hang on to people and relationships so much longer than I should
• I give until I am drained on many levels
• I base my happiness on the happiness of others
• My self care on emotional level is forgotten until I have ran myself in the ground
• I have had to let go of things that were important to me, things my grandparents and friends gave me because my ex husband refuses to return them. So I learned about material attachment and how the memories are more valuable.
• There is such a thing as polite bullies. I attract them like fly paper
• I have learned I don’t have to answer to any one and I only have to take care of myself and my daughter
• People will use you, even people who love you
• Friends come and go
• Not everyone will accept or like you and they don’t have too
• No matter how much you give some people it will never be enough
• Your dreams count and you don’t have to adopt the dreams of another

Those are only some of the things I learned. People can be selfish and greedy and it will hurt every time. But mostly I have realized its time to take care of me again. So I bought the car. I will continue to work hard and pick up some extra jobs…because I like to be busy. I have always been on top of my game with my finances, yes, I have over spent, over gave and over done…..now I am done. I am banking the funds…saving for something amazing.

I will spend more time feeding my soul with words, paint, yoga and the gym. Soulfood ❤

Time waits for no one, we are responsible for our own happiness….I don’t want someone to complete me, I want someone to compliment me. And I want to be happy again….