I knew for days what my next post would be about….about love.
That all changed…..a few words and actions and that shit isn’t as important as it once was. So here I am on a Friday night lost in thought and drifting in a river of words. Maybe this should be about love….is there such a thing as good love? Does it matter?
Yes, it’s about love
If you would have asked me months ago what love would feel like, I was so sure it would be earth-shaking, weak in the knees, breathless love. Then a few days ago I thought, thought, that maybe love was easy and silent and slipped in when you least expected it, from someone you never imagined loving or loving you. Maybe it was the quiet storm that crept up on you and grew daily. I am not so sure…..I LOVE YOU and LOVE YOU. Is there a difference? I have heard there is. I love you….for your partner, the one your heart loves, Love you….a friend or a buddy. Someone you hang out with, pass time with, but you aren’t really in love with.
And then there is never enough…what happens when you know that you are never enough for someone? You Are Never Really Enough..then what?? Where do you go with that? When you ache for words…kind words, not cutting remarks or negative jabs. When you ache for a little something kind and affectionate….an extended hug or glance that’s more than…just more.
Alone and lonely…big difference. You can come home alone, to an empty house, or you can eat alone, shop alone, go out alone or stay in alone. Lonely….it happens everywhere. In a room full of people. Next to someone you think cares. Across the table from your family, shopping, going out or staying in lonely.
Yes, happiness is temporary and fleeting….Love, what is that? The purest form is for my daughter. Beyond that? What is love?
Enough for tonight….