And the thing is…..

And the thing is I stayed up too late and had to get up way too early….For the first time in some time I slept without dreams or nightmares…whatever you want to call them.

I wrote yesterday with my mentor….I needed her and our space more than I wanted to admit. I have a tendency to turn inward and hold everything in when things aren’t right. So yesterday was perfect therapy. The one prompt that we wrote with was “the thing is” and it has stayed with me and I feel it will become a staple in my writing.

So the thing is I wrote about what I want, funny things, silly things that rhythm and come right on time when you dive in and let go. Swim in the darkness that is your conscious thoughts and you surface cleaner, clearer and healthier in thought. I believe that we can manifest what we want. So I write it sometimes….and even though I haven’t written a lot lately, when I do,  I write about a future and what it looks like to me. Its comforting and sometimes familiar, like I have lived it before…maybe its just the easy recognition of what will come. Or just maybe its the comfort….the easy, peaceful feeling I find when I go there.

So I’ll be honest….I think of what my future looks likes….. (smiles from strangers, genuine smiles, are some of the best) and I think about where I have been and what I have experienced. You begin with a strong foundation and each of our foundations look differently. When you build with someone, a partner (this word has been sitting heavy and the meaning of it has occupied my thoughts lately) you gradually build and grow throughout time. When you know there is a future or a very real possibility of it you feel unstoppable. How do you build for the betterment of someone else’s future and not your own? A different pool of thought to swim in another time….

And the thing is I am trying to figure it all out. Where I stand, what my future looks like, what I want it to be. I don’t want to play games and guess where I stand or for that matter be unsure about where I stand or who with. People say I am strong, some think I am weak, it doesn’t matter. What matters is who I know I am..my drive, the things I want. Thats what important.

I just may surprise you and I just may surprise myself along the way…..