I want to be who I was before…

Before this rage and anger…yes, I want to be her again.

Happy again.

Happiness is a choice. A choice I need to choose. When things go wrong it’s not always one person who caused it and it’s not okay to lay blame. It is okay however to be accountable for your actions and words.

Duly noted, accountability accepted. Forgiveness sought…accepted, not sure.

I have learned the hard way not to hold back what bothers you. That you should speak up even if it means people wont understand or that they will not like what you say. There is a clear and concise way to express yourself without intentionally hurting someone. The truth can be cutting and hurt, but is always best.

I want to remember her again….

To remember that things happen and people come into your life for a reason. To teach you that you are stronger than you think or maybe just to test you to see what you are made of. Some will love you and some will break you. It’s when you are in the pit of your darkness that you will remember who you are, what you are made of, what you are capable of and what you deserve.

I will be her again….

It’s a choice…to be who we want to be. Kind and giving…that will stay. Wiser, yes. More aware, absolutely. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and you are blessed when you find someone who does. The mind can be a dark playground of doubt and mistrust, creating many possible scenarios and making a person someone they are not.

I don’t want to be her any more.

So, I will be her again, happy again. I will find my place, my peace and forgive myself for speaking harsh words and being someone I am not. We are our own worst critics.

Be easy on yourself….your the only self you’ve got.

Tuesday thoughts……