Gratitude

For Saturdays like this….

Good coffee and conversation with you

My family, the vintage (because that sounds better) and the new

Our families together and apart

The new life we are building

Trips to Lowes and working in the yard twogether

Candles with oils, herbs and intentions burning in the kitchen

A full heart

Self-care, self-love and more healing

The people I work with and a job I love

Growth and change

Looking forward

Letting go

For a life well lived

Mornings like this

My first conscious thought is of you laying next to me. My senses come alive and my eyes adjust to the morning light. I cant recall my soul feeling such deep peace.

I make my way down the hall, check the time and find the most recent book you have given me. Man’s Search For Meaning. You just seem to know what I like and what will speak to me. Yesterday when I read through the prologue I found words that spoke to me.

“Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times. ~ Harold S. Kushner

I sink into my space and into my book, sometimes reading the words twice because it is so hard to imagine one human being treating another the way they did in the concentration camps.

I hear you move and I know that our morning has arrived. I try to contain my excitement that you are up and I have probably thought of a million things to tell you in the last hour. I make coffee and make my way to you. You and I both have things to do today but you find the moments I ask for and sink into our space with me. I put my head on your shoulder and listen to you speak. I can only see the bottom portion of your face. I watch your mouth move, notice your profile and think about how much I love you and how grateful I am for mornings like this.

We move through the morning. I shower and you move about the house completing the tasks you have set before you.

At the kitchen window I think about unconditional love and how I feel it now. I always thought it never existed. My thoughts….It’s you. It’s small moments and mornings like this that I am grateful for. They make me aware of how blessed I am to share this part of my life with you. I know that we are not perfect, but yet we are in our own way.

Its mornings like this when I know that I have everything I need.

Couples

One half

Of two wholes

Together

Holding hands

Kissing at midnight

and

On rainy nights

Couples

the kind you look at and know they are in love

She matches his gaze

He holds her hand

everywhere

Their bubble

You know them together

even when they part

On sunny days

in the dead of night

and the crack of dawn

She finds her way perfectly into

the curve of his body

during the night

Their space

and they each

have space

Couples

the kind you look at and know they are in love

Yes, those kind of couples

 

And just like that

And just like that my life changed

I asked for so long for what I wanted. I asked for change, said I was ready. In February, with incredible force, I was hit with what I asked for, but not in a way I thought would come. It took me almost two months to find my balance again, maybe another month after that to really sink into this new life. When everything changed it set in motion a string of events that would lead me to here and now.

Life has never tasted so sweet and felt so good.

So this weekend we took a Coleman mattress in the back yard and watched planes go by and he pointed out constellations, planets…The Northern Cross for me. No one has ever done that. He shares with me…The first night we stayed awake, the second I asked to go again. As we watched in silence with sleepy eyes a shooting star made its way across the sky. My poor man, I thought I was going to come up off that mattress and he probably thought he would too, because of me. Such a good night, such a good weekend. We slept several hours outside that night.

We have such good weekends together. I told him this morning I wouldn’t want to be his neighbors. We laughed. He is so very good to me, so kind and loving. We laugh, talk a little trash, have our own little language and we are good friends.  We are building a relationship with a solid foundation made up of many personal fine details that are only sharable between him and I. This is what happiness and good life is made of.

It’s the small things in life that are the most important. The man who shows you the stars, who makes time for you, who accepts all of you just the way you are. The man you can tell all of your secrets to without fear of judgement or hesitation. The man  who cooks with you and lets you (eventually) find your way around his kitchen 🙂 Who is patient and understanding, yes, its him. I am grateful for the changes…every single one of them. I know what is important. I appreciate it all.

And just like that I fell into him ❤

Happy Sunday in your life….

Remember its the little things ❤

 

And I wait for you 

For the phone to ring

for a smile

for the dream

and the motion

to heal our wounds

and tug at our scars

to embrace the moment

and savor the years

to see the age in your hair

and lines around my eyes

from the way you make me smile

I wait for your hand

for your touch

for every part of you

I crave so much

I will wait

for the man I know you are

and the woman I am

with you

And

I

will

wait

for

you

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