Tag: knowledge

Miriam’s Wisdom

I have learned so much in the last four years of my life.

The inspiration for this painting started with my friend Miriam who passed away in February. She taught me so much about myself and the knowledge I already had. Last year before I went away I wood burned a box for all of her cards, oracle and tarot. I burned an owl on the top and angel wings on the inside lid with a quote from Rumi. At the time neither of us knew she wouldn’t be here when I came home and that she would get her wings to fly.

In many cultures the Owl is a symbolism of death or a bad omen of things to come. They are tightly tied to the spiritual realm and messengers of the dead. To me they represent, wisdom, death of my old self and rebirth and my stronger self, protection and guidance.

Owls have played a part of my life off and on for as long as I remember. I was a little girl staying at my Grandpa’s house and I remember a big owl sitting in my window watching. I feel now that he was a protector. It’s a good, clear memory all these years later.

So this is my rebirth. I came home wiser and more aware of the preciousness and importance of life. How time is fleeting and I know to be grateful for everything and everyone that has come and gone. There have been so many lessons for me about the people in my life. I have said it before, I know a lot of people, but have very few friends. Pay attention to who is there when you hit your rock bottom and who extends a hand. I also know that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for and I know that all the knowledge I thirsted for from outside myself was always within my reach. It was inside of me all along. I trust myself more than I ever have. If it doesn’t feel right, whatever it may be, it has to go.

This painting has tested me, I seem to like to test myself. I wouldn’t touch it for days, I couldn’t get the eyes where I wanted them. It taught me to be easy on myself. It reminded me of words that Miriam shared with me, of the family of owls that lived on a window ledge in Arizona, of my Grandpa. It reminded me that I hold my own answers and knowledge.

This is for Miriam, this is Miriam’s Wisdom, it will hang on my wall with many pieces of art I love that are from special people in my life.

Miriam, “Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love, which linger and continue to uplift others long after your sharing.” ~ Rumi

Peace for your Friday

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Sunday evening…..

A long drive home, plenty of time to get lost in thought. Cooking for a few days ahead, laundry, the Bird, the Win and the Tunes. The air filters on and off as the scent of the night linger. The neighbors grilling and their children playing, the family on the other side play catch with their dogs. These are the sounds of my night.

A long drive home, the to do list, the chuck it list and the sweet thoughts about the weekend. You took me to the ballet and I fell in love. So beautiful and heartbreaking. Yes, please, again and a again. In our good clothes we end up in a neighborhood bar, watching the game, enjoying our own company and singing now and then. Everyone falls away and its only you and I.

The contrast of our life….sleep ins, but what about those 6 am mornings? Its been a while, but they are so good. Soft rains and sitting outside, I am sure it was around 3 am. And I am sure I wouldn’t want to be your neighbors. This is what middle of life looks like. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Routine and not so much…sgood (yes, sgood).

So Sunday night. Highs and lows. Feeling my feelings, which I am convinced no one could completely, ever understand. The intuition that kicks in, the words people speak that hurt and the actions they show which do the same. I am observant, a lot more than people give me credit for.

The pineapple mango candle that fills the living room was a gift from a strong woman I admire that I don’t see any more, but think of more than she knows. Permanently stiched in the threads of my heart.

And Theresa, my Idaho Theresa, I hold her heart in my hands, always.

Life is short and should be well lived. I don’t hold fast to the past or the people who damaged pages of my story. I don’t “what if”, because quite honestly there isn’t anything worth “what if’ing”. I love my life in the now.

Instead I have been reminded recently of how short life is. How temporary and fleeting. I think of the quote that carries the words “finite and fragile”, life and love relate to those words for me. We should love while we can. We are not promised….anything. There isn’t a too fast or too slow, we do what is right for us. This is more than the half way point, the rest will be the best. If you can’t feel that, can you feel?

So these are just a few pieces of my extravagant life I choose to share. The human, the moments, breathing, sitting in gratitude for what I have and where I have been. For wisdom. For life.

For all of it.

This is my Sunday evening…..

 

Peace for your Sunday evening….and every day ❤

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In the still moments

In the still moments

in a crowded room

or alone

The echo of

nothingness

Seeking and searching

for what is relevant

and what is not

To listen to the voice

of reason

or insanity

To be gentle

and kind

to yourself

In the still moments

the answers come

the knowing

and sometimes

not

In the still moments we find

what we seek

or don’t

the

answers

are heard

the loudest….

In the still moments

 

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Just a little more, just a little less

Just a little more sadness, a little more happiness, a little less memories and just a little more letting go. Sometimes its hard to realize the value that relationships have or lack thereof when there is no benefit for the other people. It is in the depth of trial that you will see the true colors of those who claimed they cared or they have love for you. Let your circumstances drastically change and see who you are left with. Believe me when I say change will filter out your life.

Change….inevitable

Change….growth

So here we grow….

Growth. Sometimes painful but always necessary to push forward.

I am an observer. I watch and collect thoughts, words and actions of others. I am patient because all will be revealed in time. I listen to the words that aren’t spoken, whats in between in the still silent moments. I watch the eyes and the actions. People reveal themselves. I just have a an unhealthy knack for believing that people are different, for giving second and third….and a million chances. I am working on this habit or pattern.

This morning I have a million thoughts running through my mind. One is that some people will complain about what others do to them and turn around and treat people who are in their life the same way. I don’t understand this behavior, but it’s not mine to understand. I am collecting it for future reference so that when and if it happens again I am aware and can avoid the situation.

I suppose I am dumping head trash this morning…thinking through writing. Exploring whats leaving, hopeful for whats ahead and settling into this new place in life. It carries many different emotions.

Through this change and growth if I have learned one thing, it is that I have strength. I have stood by people and carried them when they couldn’t or didn’t want to carry themselves. I have learned at the end of the day it comes down to me. We take care of ourselves, we are responsible for our own happiness and for how we accept and allow others to treat us.

Just a little less pain

Just a lot more safe

and

Just a little more wise…

Peace for your Monday

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