Your power

My thoughts have been totally immersed in our individual power and what we give our attention to. I once knew someone who thought it was unusual that I could walk away from some so easily. If someone hurts you repeatedly, disrespects you, or just treats you like you are irrelevant, give yourself permission to walk away. That is the beginning to taking back your power.

I feel that if someone discounts you enough, hurts you, uses you…whatever you want to call it, it’s okay to cut ties with them. No matter the part they have played in your journey.

“The day I chose to stop speaking their name, was the day I took their power away and took mine back. The day I chose to not respond with anger, I found peace within”.

So I move forward, an occasional memory will come up, or something will trigger me but how I choose to react is just that, my choice. I can say it is not always the best way, but it is my way.

“And the day I chose to leave the past behind me was one of the healthiest and most relieving moments in my life. No more worries about being enough for anyone but myself. It’s not to say that leaving people behind isn’t painful, but sometimes its just the best thing for you.”

Those who truly know me, know that I hold painful emotions and memories in until something brings them to the surface and only then will I spill them….just enough to ease the discomfort my heart houses.

Recently I broke…I think, no, I know I house a lot of pain that I have not allowed to surface and it overflowed. Triggers pull those deep seeded emotions from some long ago corner I have shoved them into. I know that there have been times that I haven’t made good choices in my life, but I know I have never hurt anyone with intention and never will. I don’t regret my choices, they led me to here, but it is my choice if I choose to…

“I choose not relive times before now, times that weren’t so happy. I choose not to recall times before now too often and I refuse to speak names of those that made me feel any less.”

So my thoughts right now are be mindful of the words you speak to yourself and to others….be mindful of the people and memories you give your power to.

After all, it is your power ❤

Peace for your Saturday night….

March 10, 2019 0

Maker

I used to be a maker…when I was healing and when I was happy.

I made a lot of things.

I have been craving that part of myself again.

I am happy

….finally.

and coming home

I touch parts of my life. I feel, deeply feel, love and life. I enjoy the simple things. I even allow dark parts to surface periodically. You cannot experience great gratitude and beauty in life if you cannot embrace the darkest parts of yourself and life as well.

I don’t run from things, other than my own feelings and ever present, deep running emotions and that is only periodic. I have to allow myself time to process and then decompress and come back to the situation head on, clear in thought. The past is the past and the only thing that is important is this moment.

Healing, forever healing, learning and growing. Accepting myself and others as we are. Even the ugly parts.

So a week ago I made intention candles for a few friends and for my life partner and I. They felt good. And that was the beginning. When I touched the candles and herbs they felt good in my hands and woke the part of me that have been hidden for some time.

Soon I will be home and there will be space for me to create. He supports that part of me because we are the same. He understands the call, the constant need to create.

When you give in and feel

from your soul

In the quiet moments

You allow it all to surface

and subside

And you stand in awe

of the canvas of your life.

Peace for your Sunday evening….

#waituntilyouseewhatwedo

March 4, 2019 1

Poker Face

When we watch

and wait

Knowing

the unknowing

So cool

with your poker face

The one

everyone reads

So calm

and sweating on the inside

Wondering how you are going to remember

the web you have weaved

You weave them so well

those stories

you tell

And then they

know

and you wonder why they leave

So cool with that poker face

you know,

the one

that shows the hand

you’re holding

October 29, 2018 4

Time Filler

Have you ever been

or felt

like a time filler

When your nights are lonely

call on me

When your days are empty

seek me

I will fill the in between

when there is no one else

It’s a pattern

A thought

A process

to become this skilled

at something so fucking

ridiculously stupid

To be a go to

To fill needs

and brushed away

Too bad you can’t get paid

for something you’re so

fucking good at….

November 7, 2016 0