Settle in

So, settle in my love

into your heart

and into your skin

Sometimes its you

and only you

and that’s okay

and you will stumble

and fall

and rise

again

So settle into your bones

and into your truth

It’s okay to hang on

and to let go

you have realized

when everything was gone

so were they

and they will miss whats to come

because you’ve saved the best

for last

So settle in

life is fragile

and so is  love

know that times change

and people go

and we grow

So, my love, settle in

to your life

because it’s just beginning

 

 

 

 

 

16 again….

To be 16 again

and feel the butterflies

flutter by

To turn on the lights

and dump your head

Too close

and not close enough

To smile

and completely

revel in

the glorious

glow

of youth

To know the

truth

And feel

the pain

ease

and

happiness

again

All the things

you thought

were gone

but reappeared

And now you know

that you waited

too long…

to feel 16 again

 

I have written you a million different times

In as many different ways

On a hundred different days

You never change

The ink does

Blue

Black

and other shades too

Let me color your world

with my words

 

Let me in

where no one else has been

Let me show you what I see

in you

reflections

without rejections

tenderness

without hesitation

Lets dive

to the core

of all that is dark

and seek the light

to emerge

And dive

again

for

more

 

And I wait for you 

For the phone to ring

for a smile

for the dream

and the motion

to heal our wounds

and tug at our scars

to embrace the moment

and savor the years

to see the age in your hair

and lines around my eyes

from the way you make me smile

I wait for your hand

for your touch

for every part of you

I crave so much

I will wait

for the man I know you are

and the woman I am

with you

And

I

will

wait

for

you

Someone once asked….

And someone once asked her what she wanted…

She wanted to sit in a coffee shop on a rainy afternoon and work on the book that she had written a million times in her mind. She wanted to feed her soul with the things she felt most connected to. Words.

Her friends painted and wrote, weaved and crafted treasures for little shops and big. They took pictures of objects and people who fed their souls. They healed their wounds by creating beautiful pieces and places in this life. They left their mark. Yes, she wanted to leave a mark in this life that had meaning.

What did she want? Peace, calm…steady, easy rhythm to life. Not a roller coaster and of ifs and maybes. She wanted certainty. She wanted rain, coffee shops and bookstores. Tea and rosemary, lavender and honey…random simplicities. Big coffee mugs and good people. She wants to listen and be heard, to lift people up and kneel down with…laugh, cry and live life with.

She learned about crows and eagles alone on a desolate road at 12:40 am on a Wednesday morning. She knew about darkness and diving into the depths of it and resurfacing with some clarity. She knew about sleeping and rising alone, and feeling connected and disconnected from life and people.

But it wasnt about what she knew, it was about what she wanted.

Love and happiness……pens and paper….paint and canvas.

Life.

Today she wanted life more than yesterday.

It is I

For it is I that will love you

In every way

On a million sleepless nights

And at the breaking dawn

And it is I that will love you

without hesitation

and without reservation

And it is I that will wait for you

For the curtain to fall

and the sun to rise

In every moment

to my demise

For my love,

my love knows no beginning

and no definite end

But change

and growth

moving forward

and letting go

and digging in

It is I

 

All of it

When she says she is sorry for all of it, this is what she means

She is sorry that she gave you parts of herself that you disregarded

That she gave so much and forgot to take

That you mistook her kindness for weakness

She is sorry she made it all acceptable, even though it wasn’t

and isn’t

and never will be

And she is sorry she let you push her so hard and so far

that she became someone she was not

And she finally accepted that she isn’t part of all of it

at all

and that’s okay

And that no matter how much she gives

it will never be enough

That she needs to put her needs first

her happiness is up to her

When she says she is sorry for all of it….she means

She is sorry you can’t see her value

and that someday you will

That you can’t see what you have in her

Because someone will see all of her for exactly who she is

So maybe

just maybe

She isn’t sorry for all of it at all

 

 

 

 

If you only knew

She hides more than you know and listens more than she speaks

This is where she learns who you are and your intentions

Your eyes cut up and to the left….what lie have you told?

You can’t hold her gaze for long

You think that everything is hidden well, well it’s not

Lean in, lean on, let go

Dragging down into a dark tunnel …….

She waits because in the end your intentions show through

Twisted tales of time and people, places and gaps

She has been watching too many too long to let it slip by

And you may be proud of what you think is hidden

And your good intentions aren’t

so good

And so she knows

And she grows

And she waits…

Time is shifting and changing

She will go

and then you will know

And you will wait

and she will not

for fate to drop

the reality of it

was all for naught

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