Tag: self talk

No apology needed…..

Some days I struggle with the overwhelming need to apologize….for not being enough. Not smart enough, not good enough and even apologizing too much. I know what part of my life this came from and can even map out every point that led to here. I think that is just being aware of it now. I am grateful that I am able to see and learn from past.

In todays quiet moments, I caught myself questioning my intellect and if I was enough…and then why I was even questioning myself. I have never felt the need to be smarter or better than someone. We are all human. Some have degrees that hang on the wall, others have built empires and some don’t…but in the end we are all human beings and should treat each other with kindness.

So I have taken a few classes and courses. I have a few certificates that I could hang on the wall but they do not make me who I am. They were points of interest and though I came away with more knowledge I started with, it was the people I met along the way that taught me a great deal.

Every time I catch myself questioning my “self” or talking to my “self” in a demeaning way I think about all the good qualities I possess or how someone else would feel if I spoke to them with the same words I so boldly spoke to myself.

I wont apologize for how I live, love or give. This is who I am. No gray areas. So, yes, I will always be too much for some and just the right amount of too much for others.

But for today “in this moment” I am enough for me and that is more than enough ❤

Peace for you Saturday evening……

 

 

 

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Her list

She made a list once

Of the things that needed to be taken care of

When she wasn’t here any more

Who to call

and contact

and lean on

All the information needed

in the finality of life

And then she learned

about another lady who made a list

Much like hers

And she realized that it was

not the time for her list

So she tucked it away

Hoping and knowing

time heals

and mends

and changes

and sometimes it’s not good

to make lists like hers

 

 

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Contemplating my next move….

That’s one of my favorite things to say when someone asks me what I am doing. It usually throws them off….but aren’t we always contemplating our next move??

So what exactly is next?

I sat in humble gratitude early Christmas morning for all the good people and things in my life. Especially my child. I even honor the not so great parts and the people who have caused me pain on many levels that was never deserved. They have taught me so much. Life sure has had a lot of ups and downs for me this past year and I know that I will not repeat that in 2018.

Twice in a matter of months I have made lists to the Universe of what I want in life. Really simple, yet it seems some of the hardest to appear. I must not be ready for the good things yet. Or maybe it’s that we don’t truly know how to accept what we want when it appears. Or maybe we are so blinded by the things we have been through that we are unwilling to take the risk to taste a better life. Shouldn’t you wish the same for you that you would wish for people in your life??

So this is what’s next….2018

A selfish year. My year. More me. I deserve better than I get and then I accept. Isn’t it funny what we are willing to give or do for others and we don’t even allow ourselves a tiny fraction of that. Yes, more me. More kindness….better self talk. More trips and less stress. More love, always more love. Wisdom to know that I need to treat myself as well as I treat others. More deep conversation and writing…yes, so much more writing. Adventures….are so needed and welcomed. Maybe I should be the one who randomly calls a friend at 2 am to see the city while it sleeps. Or walking in the rain. Lets all be selfish this year. It doesn’t mean being unkind to others, but happiness starts within…its not selfish to take care of you. When you are truly happy with who you are everything falls into place. I am so ready for 2018.

 

Peace for your Friday night ❤

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Someone’s someone……

Listening is the art of entering the skin of the other
and wearing it for a time as if it were your own.
– David Spangler –

 

After a sleepless night and a long conversation with a girlfriend this morning I found myself here. I love this quote from David Spangler, its perfect. Everyone has a story that needs to be told or emotions that need to be expressed and acknowledged.

As we spoke I listened to her tell me about situations in her life and how they are repetitive. How other situations keep coming up but she doesn’t take the risk to see if they are worth anything or can propel her forward. She is comfortable and uncomfortable where she is. Its familiar.

They say that if its making you uncomfortable, its forcing you to change.

Anyway, I think of her life and her children. I support her and lift her up with words of encouragement. I am her “someone” who will always been here. At 4 am when she can’t sleep or at 5 pm when she wants to chat.

Anyway….the thing that brought me here is chances and opportunity. I think life hands us what we are ready for what we need. It is up to us to see the good or bad, or maybe to take the risk which may send us to something wonderful.

Do you honor and value yourself enough to know what you deserve?

Are you someones “someone” who listens without judgment and with love?

Can you put yourself in another’s shoes or skin and see life from their point of view?

What you accept is what will continue…..give yourself credit where credit is due. I feel we can say to ourselves that we have done a good job or we are good people. Self talk is an important part of self-care. It’s so easy to tell someone about their worth. IF you have poor self talk habits think about this…would you stand by and allow someone to speak to another the way you speak to yourself? If the answer is no, its time to adjust your thoughts and words about yourself.

So today….just be someone’s someone ❤

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Day 250 ~ Self Talk

 

As I get ready, almost on a daily basis, I listen to something. Today I chose Tony Robbins: I am Not Your Guru. I know more about him in the last 30 minutes than I ever have, its enough to have caught my attention. I have no idea why I chose him, but I believe what we need comes right when we need it most. He picked a young woman out of the crowd and she began telling her story…at one point he said “Rejection breeds obsession”. And it was over, I was in. He also spoke about what I refer to as mantras. His was “I AM A FUCKING WARRIOR”. He said he would repeat it when he ran for an hour everyday and then after a period of time it was embedded in his mind. 

So its time again…to be mindful of how I speak to myself, to value my self more. I feel, sometimes like I am not good enough. A good enough parent, a good enough girlfriend, a good enough friend, not pretty enough, smart enough, not thin enough….the list is a mile long. I feel when people in my life look at me, they judge me and not in a positive light. I project my judgement of my self out into the Universe onto them….its almost like I ask them for this. I am so “obsessed” at making sure everyone is happy and taken care. This is part of my passion and purpose…to love and give in great lengths. I have been told by significant people in life that I give to everyone what I lacked in my life because I don’t ever want anyone to feel what I have felt. 

So I am going to back to my mantras when I work out or drive across town. They all begin with “I AM” and they are followed with the polarity of every thing negative I have felt or felt about my self. It will take time to correct the recent damage I have done with my words, but I know  that its possible…

 

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