Just a little more, just a little less

Just a little more sadness, a little more happiness, a little less memories and just a little more letting go. Sometimes its hard to realize the value that relationships have or lack thereof when there is no benefit for the other people. It is in the depth of trial that you will see the true colors of those who claimed they cared or they have love for you. Let your circumstances drastically change and see who you are left with. Believe me when I say change will filter out your life.

Change….inevitable

Change….growth

So here we grow….

Growth. Sometimes painful but always necessary to push forward.

I am an observer. I watch and collect thoughts, words and actions of others. I am patient because all will be revealed in time. I listen to the words that aren’t spoken, whats in between in the still silent moments. I watch the eyes and the actions. People reveal themselves. I just have a an unhealthy knack for believing that people are different, for giving second and third….and a million chances. I am working on this habit or pattern.

This morning I have a million thoughts running through my mind. One is that some people will complain about what others do to them and turn around and treat people who are in their life the same way. I don’t understand this behavior, but it’s not mine to understand. I am collecting it for future reference so that when and if it happens again I am aware and can avoid the situation.

I suppose I am dumping head trash this morning…thinking through writing. Exploring whats leaving, hopeful for whats ahead and settling into this new place in life. It carries many different emotions.

Through this change and growth if I have learned one thing, it is that I have strength. I have stood by people and carried them when they couldn’t or didn’t want to carry themselves. I have learned at the end of the day it comes down to me. We take care of ourselves, we are responsible for our own happiness and for how we accept and allow others to treat us.

Just a little less pain

Just a lot more safe

and

Just a little more wise…

Peace for your Monday

May 28, 2018 0

I have written you a million different times

In as many different ways

On a hundred different days

You never change

The ink does

Blue

Black

and other shades too

Let me color your world

with my words

Let me in

where no one else has been

Let me show you what I see

in you

reflections

without rejections

tenderness

without hesitation

Lets dive

to the core

of all that is dark

and seek the light

to emerge

And dive

again

for

May 16, 2018 0

What do you speak into the Universe?

So last November, sitting at a light on Desert Inn and Cimarron I spoke the words “I am ready for change, whatever you give me I am ready for”. By February of this year I wasn’t ready but my words came to light. I believe more than ever that what we speak into the Universe will manifest in our lives. I have been more careful lately and so much more specific. So things changed drastically and quickly. It took some time to adjust to this new life that I asked for. And I wonder why I wasn’t more specific now…. and I know it’s because I wasn’t supposed to be…Every thing is falling into place. Better roads have been placing themselves before me. I observe and pay attention now. What is meant to be is coming together.

Fast forward to last Friday morning, it’s after 1 am and I driving home (damn Desert Inn), I did it again. I was more specific this time. Details….I spoke the fine details of what desire into life. I believe there is a higher power that listens when we speak, regardless of our belief system there are greater forces preparing for what is to come next for us.

And then everything changed yesterday…a simple, subtle change. Checking myself at 5:27 pm “remember what you asked for?”. I do. So now it’s placed before me and it will change a lot, if I allow it. I asked for it, I was specific. It has been constant in my thoughts since then. I take a breath and exhale…..these words come to mind

Permanence in a temporary world

I am not sure where this is really meant to go…I just know I come here to think and heal. Tonight its to contemplate what is placed before me. To feel my way through this, to explore my emotions. I have never been this specific…its time, I know, for a change. Its time to take care of me. To stop coming in last with certain people in my life.

What do you speak into the Universe? Are you specific?

I think I am being shown that what I want is possible, its my choice. It’s up to me. The Universe is conspiring to help me achieve it.

Peace for your Sunday evening ❤

May 14, 2018 0

Her list

She made a list once

Of the things that needed to be taken care of

When she wasn’t here any more

Who to call

and contact

and lean on

All the information needed

in the finality of life

And then she learned

about another lady who made a list

Much like hers

And she realized that it was

not the time for her list

So she tucked it away

Hoping and knowing

time heals

and mends

and changes

and sometimes it’s not good

to make lists like hers

March 28, 2018 0