As I often do, I pick a page from my book. Page 27 it is. Ram Dass.
I picked up The Wisdom of Sundays by Oprah Winfrey after I saw it on a friends coffee table. I flipped through it and knew it was something I needed.
So….Ram Dass it is on this Saturday morning. I read through the page twice. It speaks of vulnerability, showing up and unconditional love. This is the way I interpret the words I have found.
I thought today I would write about the recent journey I have been on, the trials and tribulations, the part of life that has tested the very core of the person I am. But that changed after page 27.
So, the unconditional love thing. Is that really possible? I have questioned this for at least the last 5 years or more. It’s an ongoing battle with …..”yeah but, give me, do this, do that, can I, will you or the ever famous, if you love me you will” WHY must love be contingent on these things? Why must there be contingencies at all? If someone treats you poorly, how much do you take before you can “un” love unconditionally. There has to be a clear moment when you know that no matter how much you love someone or what you do for them it will never be enough. You will never enough for them, but “YOU ARE ENOUGH” for you.
I think about the man who was cheated on and heartbroken, the one who is afraid to love again. I think about the woman who deserves more but can’t see it. The people who search for something they cant obtain because they clearly cant “see” and think that physical interaction is enough to satisfy them. If it is why do they continue to run to the next and the next and the very next, distributing pieces of themselves or their souls as they go. Human connection….sounds amazing, and rare right? They say men don’t want a woman who has been with everyone….and then recently I found the same except “women don’t want a man who has been with everyone”. TRUTH.
So you show up and open your heart to another human, and they use it to use you. They take you for granted. Your kindness, your weakness….they take the gift of your authenticity and crush it like fine china. Like its nothing….they cant “see”. Some eyes are so clouded with greed and despair that they cant see. You let down your walls and share your fears, what makes you happy, what breaks you down. The things that have broken you are now somehow used as ammunition to reduce you.
So many thoughts….do we stop loving? Some do, some continue to take the risk and are somehow eventually rewarded with someone who loves them the way they should be. Do we stop showing up? Some do, some isolate and stay to themselves. The few they allow in will never really know they depth of their soul or what makes them who they are. Some continue to risk showing up, learning with each surrender and abandon, with each heart-break or let down they become wiser.
For me, eventually I will show up in my vulnerability again and, yes, I still have faith that unconditional love exists.
So I leave you with my thoughts and words I am saying to myself….
Never risk the opportunity to show someone who you really are, if there is truly unconditional love, they will stay and they will love you. Risk it again and again, because at some point it will be fulfilling and rewarding. Always be who you are, no matter what, the world can be cruel and so can people, but be who you are without hesitation. Know you deserve better. And above all….love yourself, you know you best.
Peace for your Saturday ❤