For you Alyse, because you understand the way my words work….
I stepped into the night air, the warm desert wind on my legs. One of my favorite things about a desert summer night, the warmth on my skin. In my mind I wondered what I was thinking. “Am I really doing this?” And I knew, without hesitation, the answer, the only answer. As I made the drive the mellow sounds of Santeria whispered in the back ground. My mind drifted, yes, I was heading into the unknown.
So many times before I had faced the unknown, but not like this, in some sense this was familiar. This was by choice, unknown by choice, not by force. Mostly the unknown had been situations and people who were unkind. Places where I was supposed to be safe but that was taken.
I found the place I was looking for and I entered the home. I didn’t hesitate, even though I had never been here, I didn’t feel the typical feelings of uneasiness, judgement, distrust or even fear. This place was safe, warm and inviting. The energy was even and welcoming.
Earthy…when I replay those moments. The room felt earthy and easy, no pressure. The aroma and the energy of the air were comforting and music lingered like heavy smoke. Before me were so many treasures, I admired the walls and shelves, the tables in the corner adorned with plants, gemstones, candles….the things that were important to this person who occupied this space.
The words “make yourself at home” fell from their lips. I hesitated…but the words were genuine. I continued to glance from place to place, my eyes indulging in the contents of the this space. Within minutes I removed my sandals, I couldn’t wear them any more. I needed to be grounded in the moment and all the moments to follow. I never went barefoot anywhere but home. And I was barefoot and I felt the earth..connected….I was grounded.
And then came the silver dish…full of gemstones. Many colors and textures. I asked if it was okay to touch the contents of the bowl. I turned them over and over, familiarizing myself with them. The energy, the place, the space, the human….and I was alive..finally …..and Life Begins Again.
Thank you Alyse for pushing, pulling, inspiring, breathing and walking with me. For wording with me!! For the encouragement and for helping me put that inner critic to sleep. Life feels good my friend and I miss writing with you.
Love and peace to you always ❤