Tag: words

And I tripped and fell in love….

This morning as I searched for words to feed my soul, I came across the sweet perfection of Joan Miro and her thoughts on two of my favorite things. Paint and words.

Her words tasted so sweet, filled the void and sparked a creative place I sought to satisfy. Twice in the last few days I have been diving deeply into my writing and lost what I was working on. I think that my words weren’t supposed to make it here…that I am capable of more, of something greater.

I have often entertained the idea of writing a piece based on a painting or painter I know, or even a friend who is a photographer and has captured something that sits with my soul. Something I can’t let go of. A story I need to tell or a poem that is seeking to escape the corridors of my mind.

Paint and poetry….black and white, full of brilliant color and life. I resonate with people I know who paint and who write. Art…it lights and fuels the creative fire. I think people light people up that way. Joan’s words sent me spinning…not able to think, see or do anything for some time after letting them settle in and absorbing the full-scale of what they created within my written mind.

I felt the love story of the Painter and the Poet, their love affair

The two people who create from damaged places and never cross paths

The two who find each other after many lifetimes of waiting and light the world on fire with their art and words

The mother and daughter….the times she cherishes that are no longer here. She holds those moments in her heart.

Friends who bond over rose tea and write about life and love

The way the paint feels on my skin and looks on my clothes when I am done

The words that tell a story. If I close my eyes I can remember the moment I picked up a brush and how it felt.

The words.

The.

Words.

THE WORDS.

The words….

I can tell you about the poem I wrote for him and how it will never mean as much to him as it does to me. The poem I wrote for two mothers, for a best friend, for a life that is no longer here, for a love that I crave….I can tell you the moments that led me to my words. How people lifted me up, destroyed me and taught me the most valuable lessons I have ever learned.

Can you paint me a picture? It will give life to my words.

Paint your life….Write your life…but more importantly love your life. Create your life. Whatever your modality is dive so deeply into it that when you surface you are satisfied in a way that fills you up so completely.

So there it is….my words

Peace for this Sunday in your life…and for every day ❤

 

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Will and Determination

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough

~ Og Mandino~

I have been wanting to write about people who inspire me for some time. Often times I do without using names, although they know who they are.

Many times when we are alone with our thoughts, it is detrimental to our well-being and lately this has been the case for me. So I have chosen to share an article about someone who inspires me when I feel I have no will.

I have always admired various people in life for their artistic abilities and I believe that we are all artists in our own way.  I can also appreciate the various forms of creative outlets that people seek. Many of us have suffered some sort of trauma in our lives,  physical, emotional, sexual, grief, loss or some sort of tragedy in general. Some of the most creative people I know have also been some of the most traumatized.

In 2015 I opened my account on Instagram….I began following, liking, observing and connecting with various people. Two of my friends have these eyes that present me with the ability to see life through their (camera) lenses and find beauty where many don’t…and so my love for the different layers of life intensified.

Graffiti. Street Art. Writers. Writers….words. Beautiful and colorful. Dark and deep. Bold, hard edges, soft, rounded corners…Words. People, faces, places and names of present and past. Writers…street art…or as I like think of them poets of paint..”poets of paint”.

The first time I can really remember words saving me I was 12. I started writing poetry or expressive essays ( as I learned from my friend Alyse to call them) and have written to heal parts of my life since. I think I was attracted to street art because of the lettering and the expression behind it. I knew it came from someone who had been through something…we all have a common thread somewhere in life.

I have followed many different artists over the last couple of years and this is how I came to admire one man, Benny Diar. When I think about will and determination…he, hands down, comes to mind. I cannot tell his story, you will have to read it for yourself, but I am sure you will find his thirst for life and art contagious. He has overcome obstacles and odds to do things many of us take for granted on a daily basis and he continues to be an inspiration to many.

So…will and determination…will make you survive and thrive. It “will” make you live when you think you can’t and it will drive to you to be the best you can under different circumstances that life presents you.

I hope that you find something inspirational or useful from here this evening….I have read and heard it many, many time…..”There is always, always something to be grateful for”.

 

Peace for your Friday and in your life

*used with permission of Benny Diar

 

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Someone once asked….

And someone once asked her what she wanted…

She wanted to sit in a coffee shop on a rainy afternoon and work on the book that she had written a million times in her mind. She wanted to feed her soul with the things she felt most connected to. Words.

Her friends painted and wrote, weaved and crafted treasures for little shops and big. They took pictures of objects and people who fed their souls. They healed their wounds by creating beautiful pieces and places in this life. They left their mark. Yes, she wanted to leave a mark in this life that had meaning.

What did she want? Peace, calm…steady, easy rhythm to life. Not a roller coaster and of ifs and maybes. She wanted certainty. She wanted rain, coffee shops and bookstores. Tea and rosemary, lavender and honey…random simplicities. Big coffee mugs and good people. She wants to listen and be heard, to lift people up and kneel down with…laugh, cry and live life with.

She learned about crows and eagles alone on a desolate road at 12:40 am on a Wednesday morning. She knew about darkness and diving into the depths of it and resurfacing with some clarity. She knew about sleeping and rising alone, and feeling connected and disconnected from life and people.

But it wasnt about what she knew, it was about what she wanted.

Love and happiness……pens and paper….paint and canvas.

Life.

Today she wanted life more than yesterday.

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It is I

For it is I that will love you

In every way

On a million sleepless nights

And at the breaking dawn

And it is I that will love you

without hesitation

and without reservation

And it is I that will wait for you

For the curtain to fall

and the sun to rise

In every moment

to my demise

For my love,

my love knows no beginning

and no definite end

But change

and growth

moving forward

and letting go

and digging in

It is I

 

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Useless

What a funny word used to describe a conversation or the way someone speaks about things.

Words are cutting, lasting and damaging.

Useless……

So if I sit and tell you what my goals, desires or dreams are

Or I tell you how my day went

Or how bad I feel about what someone is going through

Or how maybe someone we know needs help

Is that useless?

Or maybe if you told me about your troubles, would you think that I thought your words were useless?

People don’t think before they speak or they just don’t care. I may hold my words for long periods before I open my mouth, but everything I say is what I feel or well thought out when the time comes.

No “one”, actions, words or otherwise is useless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And the thing is…..

And the thing is I stayed up too late and had to get up way too early….For the first time in some time I slept without dreams or nightmares…whatever you want to call them.

I wrote yesterday with my mentor….I needed her and our space more than I wanted to admit. I have a tendency to turn inward and hold everything in when things aren’t right. So yesterday was perfect therapy. The one prompt that we wrote with was “the thing is” and it has stayed with me and I feel it will become a staple in my writing.

So the thing is I wrote about what I want, funny things, silly things that rhythm and come right on time when you dive in and let go. Swim in the darkness that is your conscious thoughts and you surface cleaner, clearer and healthier in thought. I believe that we can manifest what we want. So I write it sometimes….and even though I haven’t written a lot lately, when I do,  I write about a future and what it looks like to me. Its comforting and sometimes familiar, like I have lived it before…maybe its just the easy recognition of what will come. Or just maybe its the comfort….the easy, peaceful feeling I find when I go there.

So I’ll be honest….I think of what my future looks likes….. (smiles from strangers, genuine smiles, are some of the best) and I think about where I have been and what I have experienced. You begin with a strong foundation and each of our foundations look differently. When you build with someone, a partner (this word has been sitting heavy and the meaning of it has occupied my thoughts lately) you gradually build and grow throughout time. When you know there is a future or a very real possibility of it you feel unstoppable. How do you build for the betterment of someone else’s future and not your own? A different pool of thought to swim in another time….

And the thing is I am trying to figure it all out. Where I stand, what my future looks like, what I want it to be. I don’t want to play games and guess where I stand or for that matter be unsure about where I stand or who with. People say I am strong, some think I am weak, it doesn’t matter. What matters is who I know I am..my drive, the things I want. Thats what important.

I just may surprise you and I just may surprise myself along the way…..

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One day

One day someone will remind you of all the wonderful things you are

The way your laugh makes them smile…

They will see you, really see you, and not need to see everyone else around you

They will remind you that you are the only one and wont plant seeds of  doubt that there are others

Your happiness will be important to them

One day you will wake up and not have to wonder if you are really wanted where you are or if you are convenient

They will see the way they light up your eyes with their smile and want nothing less for you

And one day someone will look at you and in that moment you will know you are enough without question

They will promise you for forever and deliver it

When they speak of love you will know your are loved

One day….they will be more than enough and so will you

You will stop questioning and doubting…them and your self

You will know you are loved unconditionally, the way you love will be returned

one day

And one day you wont wake up alone…

 

 

 

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Time Filler

Have you ever been

or felt

like a time filler

When your nights are lonely

call on me

When your days are empty

seek me

I will fill the in between

when there is no one else

It’s a pattern

A thought

A process

to become this skilled

at something so fucking

ridiculously stupid

To be a go to

To fill needs

and brushed away

Too bad you can’t get paid

for something you’re so

fucking good at….

 

 

 

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Solace in Words

Words are the only place I can find solace.

When my heart hurts, when life is hard and yes, even when its the best. This is the only place I know to come. They save me from certain destruction…they also celebrate my greatest joys with me.

I am lost lately. I seek to feed my soul and this is the only way I know how, yet recently it isn’t enough. I know when things aren’t right in my life, intuition, and lately I chose to ignore it, only for it to come to light later. I know that I should listen when something tells me there is more to what is before me. You see I have always listened to the words that aren’t spoken and I pay very careful attention to those around me. More often than not they think that I am naive to the situation but I am not. Thus hurt feelings and second guessing my worth to those individuals. Enough? Imagine that…..

Sleepless nights turn into drug out days…random tears, fake smiles. It’s so easy to hide in front of people. When I am alone at night my demons come out to play. They put in my face everything I have put off, everything I hide. I have a habit of seeking temporary happiness in material items. Things that aren’t necessary. Then comes guilt and shame. It’s not often that I do this because I have a tendency to take better care of those around than taking care of myself. It’s just easier.

So here I am…functioning on maybe three hours of sleep, knowing something is off right now….and waiting for it to show up.

 

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