Sadness and absence

Sadness and absence…..a wise women whispered to me in a soft voice “If they don’t notice your sadness…they wont notice your absence” That bitch!! I hate when I talk to myself and it makes sense and resonates. I have hardly invested in what I love and that’s the written word, my words….its time. I have been invited to a writing circle of women. They have no fucking idea what they get with me…as Don Julio whispers in my ear ….WRITE ON! Here I am. I am going to go for it….This is what I love…I am not looking to make money at what I do, it feeds my soul, so I am rich beyond words.

So I have recently realized that people will not always treat you as you treat them, I learn this lesson on a regular. I get my feelings hurt….yep…soft heart…forgiving heart. And I say nothing, if I do I am a piece of shit or over thinking or wanting too much. How sad….I ask for very little, but way too much. I have been starving my soul caring for everyone else in my life. I am back at the gym after a long break….I want yoga again…and that damn wanderlust shit is  back again. That makes me happy….so many places call my name. There is so much left to see and so many people to meet.

So let’s go back….when they don’t notice your sad, will they notice you’re absent. Maybe for  a little while and then they will move on and you will become like the others….a memory. Oh she was this or that, we did this or that or one time….you will no longer matter. The shit is too heavy to carry on my own. I am sad….absence is such a heavy word.

So random with tequila…